Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Haiku - Ode To My FAT ASS

Come to the office
there are some Girl Scout cookies
out on the counter

I see Tag-a-longs
shortbread cookies and Thin Mints
six fucking boxes

Fuck you, you temptress
go tell your evil daughter
to find a new hobby

Can I resist them?
Hardly. I stuff my fat face -
there goes my waistline

Yesterday also
ate Chipotle for dinner...
inhaled is more like it

But did I stop there?
Nope! At home had pizza rolls
and also grilled cheese

Over the weekend
Heather bakes me some cookies
sends them in the mail

I open the box,
read her letter and then I
eat them all at once

AMBER YOU LARD ASS!
WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM???
STOP FUCKING EATING!!!!

2 comments:

H said...

Glad we could help!

amberance said...

Yes, you two have helped both my mood AND my ability to displace water! You, Heather, are now about equal to exactly one of my legs. I should get rid of a leg and attach you instead, like a live action Scuzzlebutt...