Amberance: Of Questionable Usefulness

me: oh so did i show you the new boots i bought?

H-town: no!

me: these

H-Town: holy schneikes
those are some sexy fishing waders
for the sexy fisherman in your life
awesome
can you come over and walk around on our front lawn to aerate it?

me: no problem
there's going to be a vinyl corset that goes with those when i find it

H-Town: yes
you'll be entirely waterproof

me: it's a dream of mine

H-town: don't sit on any old grandmother's vinyl couch, you'll be stuck forever

me: i can lay down on the grass and be a slip n slide

H-town: hahahaha
"honey, get the hose!"

me: hopefully no one will try to make me float on top of a pool all winter

H-town: hahaha
that'll be a skinny pool
hey, nice pool cover. oh that? that's actually amber
aaaaand scene

me: we're here all week

H-town: remove the vinyl cover before trying the veal, folks